Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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