If i come over, it means nothing
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
