Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
