i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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