Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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