I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ladies don't puke and tell
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
