i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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