I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
3 2 1 whiskey
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
