have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
