ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize