he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize