Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize