also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
