My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
