..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
