so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
