if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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