Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
