You're so nebulous sometimes
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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