Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
