Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
