I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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