In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
