So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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