Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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