Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
