Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
