you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
