come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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