whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
