its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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