remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
