i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
