I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
