the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
