I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
