We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize