Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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