just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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