What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
