Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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