I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
