But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
