My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
