saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
