exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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