if you like me you must not know who I am
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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