whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
