Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
