I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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