Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
