I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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