Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
