I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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