Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
These tits shall not be calmed
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
