I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
