it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
