Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
