I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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