i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
